December 28, 2014

Like I said, I would return the Sunday after Christmas.  I hope all of you had a great holiday with family and friends.

With this blog, I intended to provide the readers the opportunity to keep updated on my health over this past year.  What developed was the chance to reach out to others who have cancer, or caregivers, or friends.  I applaud those who asked questions and reevaluated health choices because of something learned through the blog.

I continue to improve my spirits and health.  I can do that because of the support I have at work and at home.  While I would like to go back to working at a more demanding pace, its best for me to take advantage of the opportunity to learn more about some of the different and necessary jobs in my department.  I truly appreciate the less stressful schedule and pace.

Every day, people text or email or stop by to check in.  Its a blessing to maintain a regular work schedule, without suffering from pain or fatigue.  I continue to take medicine to keep the cancer inactive.  Its good to recover from chemo with less and less joint pain.  Regular exercise also improves my physical strength, endurance, and energy level.

While a part of this journey has been to share my health with people, another important part is my relationships with others.  Specifically, more people have approached me with news of their loved ones with cancer.  People have asked questions and felt comfortable enough to tell me about how cancer affects their loved ones. Sadly, more women have approached me because they were diagnosed with some form of breast cancer. I hope to help by sharing my experience, or just listening to theirs. 

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Someone told me next year has to be better than last year.  Every year should be better than the last.  I saw an idea on Facebook to share good memories, and I think its a great idea.  Find a mason jar or fishbowl or vase, and use that to contain strips of paper.  Each time something memorable happens, write it down briefly and add it to the container.  By the end of next year, read the papers and share the memories of the past year.

Happy New Year to you and yours.

Love, Sosa

 

Sunday, November 30, 2014

 

 

Above is a picture of me holding a bag of six crab.  This Black Friday, I joined a large group of friends on a fishing boat out of Berkeley.  We went fishing all day  near the Farallon Islands.  We learned how to fish for different types of rock cod and everyone on the boat came home with plenty of fish.  I definitely got a little seasick, but powered through.  We had great weather and took some beautiful pictures.

 

 

I hope everyone took some time to be thankful this holiday weekend, and contribute to those less fortunate.  You never know when your life could become harder, or you get that call, or you are faced with something unexpected.  Be grateful for the days you have been given.

 

 

As we head into December, I want to express my gratitutde to everyone for returning to check in and read the blog.  I am adjusting well to work and an active routine.  This week, I am grateful to be able to exercise more, celebrate lots of birthdays and catch a football game.

 

I will not be posting another blog until the Sunday after Christmas. I hope you will share my past entries with people who are dealing with any type of cancer, or  chemotherapy, or cancer treatment, or family, or friends.  If you think I can help by sharing my story, please reach out.

 

My email is heysosateamsosa@gmail.com

 

 

For local FREE support groups and services: http://www.cancersupportcommunity.net/

 

 

Love, Sosa

 

November 23, 2014

 

Be thankful for life.  Be thankful every day.

Things can change very quickly.  Life can change unexpectedly.

 

Be thankful you have a roof or clothes or food or friends or family. 

Be thankful you have your health.

 

Be thankful you are able to help those in need.

Be thankful you can wake up each day.

 

When you think it could be worse, it probably already is for someone else. 

 

This season, be thankful for the life you have been given, the cards you have been dealt, the road you have travelled...

It has led you to where you are, and everyday, you are given daily opportunities to make your path what you want it to be.

 

There are those who are fighting to survive. There are those who will go without. There are those who will struggle this holiday season. 

 

I encourage you to take a moment and be thankful for your blessings. After that, donate your time, money, food, or goods to someone in need.

 

Love, Sosa

 

*********************************************

 

Happy 39th Anniversary to my crazies, mom and dad.

 

 

 

 

November 16, 2014

 

For those of you who were not aware, my birthday was this week.

 

I must acknowledge everyone who wished me well and made my day very special. Having friends and family to share a birthday with is more important this year.  Thank you for the balloons, cards, gifts, and messages, but more than that, its the sincere well wishes that I am most grateful for.  And the cupcakes...

 

This birthday is as important as my next.  Fighting cancer means fighting for a future.  It has been a long year, both physically and emotionally.  I intend for the next year to continue to be positive and filled with friends and love and hope.  I encourage you to appreciate the gifts you have been given.

 

________________________________

 

 

Last week, I spoke with the Women's Crew at Saint Mary's College.  The team allowed me to check out their erg trailer, which is much more than we had when I was there.  The team honored me with tshirts and a photo, because they rowed in tribute in Foster City.  I am grateful for the opportunity to speak with young women athletes who I hope gain another perspective on women's health.

 

Returning to work has been an adventure in learning new things.  I am adjusting to a new part of the job, and adjusting to a busier schedule.  Everything has gone well and I hope to continue to redevelop the skills I have learned over the years.

 

Please feel free to share this blog with someone you know who might benefit from it.  You can always email me at heysosateamsosa@gmail.com

 

Have a good week,

Sosa

 



November 9, 2014

We did it!

This is a selfie after completing the Berkeley 5k today.  We all got our medals, which means we finished under an hour.  It was a beautiful day in Berkeley, and I had a great time running with my friends.  Congratulations to Cristina, Maria, Marlene, and Mauricio (the late entry) for earning their medals!

It was an emotional day of excitement and accomplishment.  Just a few months ago, I was hooked up to a machine, receiving chemotherapy.  I could barely walk to the mailbox or to the car without difficulty.  If it wasn't fatigue, it was considerable muscle or joint pain.  On those weeks between treatment, I pushed myself to walk longer, enduring back, leg, and joint pain.  Once chemo was over, and had worked its way out of my system, my energy level gradually increased, and I felt better when walking.

I could not have accomplished this event goal without the help of my friends.  They (and their dogs) were there to walk with me, no matter how slow.  I cannot be more grateful for people who included me in their schedules and shared the conversation.  Over months, I was able to increase strength and distance, and walking three or four miles became routine.  I realized I could run a little more, and was able to run two of the 3.1 miles today. 

_______________________________

I returned to work this week.  My colleagues have made my transition easy and made me feel welcome.  I am learning new things and adjusting to the work routine.  Each day brings new challenges, just like everyone else, and just like before I had cancer.  But, I appreciate the patience and kindness of others, because those challenges can and will be more challenging than before. 

Big day today.  I need a nap.

Love, Sosa

 

November 2, 2014

 



Hello Everyone,

 

Thank you for returning to the blog every week.

 

Tomorrow, I return to work to face old challenges and new challenges. It has been a very long year of life changing experiences.  I was faced with an incredible diagnosis and spent the time necessary to face some of the many battles of this war.  I will continue to face breast cancer for the rest of my life.  However, the medicine always me to live my life and control the disease at the same time. 

 

My life will not revolve around having cancer, but cancer will be a part of my life.  That means I will continue to work and walk and do the things I enjoy doing. That means surrounding myself with positive people who have similar attitudes. It does not mean I ignore my disease; it means I accept it as a part of my life and live because I survive.

 

Thank you to everyone who offered me support and prayers and love during this time.  I have learned many lessons about relationships and how people share their feelings about cancer.  Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts and experience.

 

________________________________

 

I have to acknowledge the World Series Champions, San Francisco Giants.

 

I was diagnosed during spring training and began chemotherapy shortly after the season started.  As our team started off well, they, like me, also struggled through a very rough June.  I wore my Giants gear to chemotherapy. I attended games and watched from home.  And they came through in the end.  In the longest playoff series, that included the longest, most exhausting, games, the Giants prevailed.  It is fitting that their season ends as I close out my summer and return to work.

 

Myself and another "Gamer Babe," both diagnosed with breast cancer in February, believed in our team, watched these games, and we reserve the right to believe our boys won that championship for us.

 

_________________________________

 

I spoke at my school this week at their annual Breast Cancer Awareness luncheon.  It was great to share my story with people there, and also be joined by friends and family.  It was a wonderful experience and a sort of closure to a very long year.  I will continue to tell my story and advocate for early detection and an open dialogue with doctors. 

 

I also attended my last yoga classes and support group at the Cancer Support Community.  The Community has offered me support and education during this time.  I have met some wonderful people and heard many stories of survival.  CSC is a wonderful place for support, for cancer patients, families, children, and caretakers.  All services are free and I recommend their services.

___________________________________

 

Love, Sosa

 

 

 

October 26, 2014

 

 

Hello Everyone and Welcome Back,

The picture above is from the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure at Fresno State, held this past weekend.  A friend from high school joined me in a 5K walk to support breast cancer awareness.  There were hundreds of breast cancer survivors there, and hundreds more supporters.  The mood was about hope for futures after surviving breast cancer, and strength for those who are facing recent diagnosis and ongoing treatment.  Many of the women there have lived for as much as 20-30 years after initial diagnosis and treatment.

I also attended my 20th year high school reunion and saw many smiling faces from the past.  While I was initially hesitant about going, I am glad I went and enjoyed myself.  Having breast cancer threatens my future, which means I think twice about doing things that I may not have the chance to do again. Maybe I will finally get around to piercing my ears...

This Wednesday, I have the opportunity to speak at my school for their Breast Cancer Awareness luncheon. If you are interested in attending, contact me and I will send you the link.

This week ends my time off from work, as I will return to a "new normal" routine.  I spoke with another survivor this weekend who reminded me how important it is to continue to live life, and the medicine is much better than it used to be.  Hearing encouragement, in any form, is primary to survivorship.

The National Cancer Institute states that:
"An individual is considered a cancer survivor from the time of diagnosis, through the balance of his or her life.  Family members, friends, and caregivers are also impacted by the survivorship experience and are therefore included in this definition.

Have a good week,
Sosa

October 19, 2014

Gotta love the pink MLB bats.  I was lucky enough to have members of my work family present me with one with lots of signatures.  Hard to believe that was so many months ago...

The Giants are in the World Series.  Its an emotional moment for sports fans whenever your team makes the Championship, and I am no different.  Baseball has been with me all my life, but watching a lot of games has helped me through the toughest summer of my life. Attending games with friends, or texting while watching games from home, is a common thread that I hope never changes.  It is fitting that the season finishes as I complete my time off and return to a "new normal" lifestyle.

Last Monday, I attended a Breast Cancer Awareness event in Oakland for another friend recently diagnosed.  I was lucky to see friends and watch football, while supporting another beautiful woman who is fighting our common enemy.  We had a great time, and I made some great memories.

Saturday, I attended Many Faces of Breast Cancer in Walnut Creek, sponsored by the Cancer Support Community.  At this event, I heard from medical professionals and a survivor about recent topics in medicine and nutrition.  I learned a little more about my type of cancer and treatments.  Listening to another survivor was also helpful, as it has been each time I hear the stories.

Part of this journey means I have been given the opportunity to share my story with many, including you who read the blog, and people at my support center.  In a few weeks, I have the honor of speaking at my school's breast cancer awareness luncheon.  I will be able to share my story as well as end the month of October with an event advocating for other young women to get checked.

If you would like to attend, contact me and I will send you the link. 

___________________________

Finally, this upcoming weekend, I am participating in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure at Fresno State, as well as attending my 20th high school reunion.
And watching baseball, of course.

Love to all,
Sosa

October 12, 2014

Hello Everyone, and Welcome Back,

Its wonderful to be able to say I am getting stronger and adjusting to my "new normal."  That means I adjust to my physical changes and learn how to set new goals, both physically and mentally.  After being off work so long, it is a challenge to think about returning to "normal" life.  I expect to be a little rusty for a few weeks, figuring out how to return to the everyday routine.  I am very fortunate that my coworkers are eager to have me back, and have always been more than considerate since this all began.

Walking and practicing yoga are great for building strength and finding a way to center oneself.  My support community encourages techniques like yoga, acupuncture, meditation and reiki to address anxiety and stress.  Yoga is great for my flexibility and endurance, and practicing methods to concentrate. Walking is physically challenging, because my muscles and bones still ache.  But I am developing muscle and able to walk further than before. As a former athlete, that mentality does not go away.  Accepting the challenges and setting goals to overcome them are a big part of any journey.  In my case, I am pushing through each day with the mindset that I want to live.  Thank you very much to those who want to walk with me, even if they are on a leash.

Lots of challenges have come my way, and having breast cancer is the biggest of all.  Living with it will be a different challenge than being treated with aggressive chemotherapy.  Now, I will take each day as what it is, and appreciate experiences in a different way.  That means acknowledging my own accomplishments, such as walking further, and accepting the changes to my life, including my physical appearance.  It means being more truly grateful for the friends and family in my life, because your support is the biggest weapon I have to fight.

Having cancer also means relationships and attitudes change.  What is great to add is the amount of knowledge I have gained, and been able to share with others over this past few months.  It is great to say that people with questions or concerns have found a way to ask.  With October throwing pink at you every day, it is good to know you are thinking differently about what that pink ribbon means. 

I am thankful every day for the relationships that have developed since this all began.  Its hard to believe this cancer is the reason to rebuild bridges, or change attitudes.  There are some who reach out to me daily, and some who reach out every few months.  Whenever you do, I value the prayers and support. Please do not think you "bother" me.

Enjoy your week,
Sosa

 

October 5, 2014

 

 

Welcome,

 

Its the MLB Postseason....This week, I spent some very long, long days rooting on the A's and Giants.  The Wild Card games began a week of playoff baseball, including many "free" extra innings.  I was not as physically exhausted, as  emotionally exhausted.  But Giants fans are used to it.  Many thanks to all those who joined me in watching games; I appreciate those who understand this "Gamer Babe." Thanks, Mom and Dad.

 

Many of you may have noticed more pink around the stores this week, so thank you for purchasing products that contribute to breast cancer research.  The NFL home teams supported fundraising with pink on uniforms, signage, and ribbons.  Each team had a large group of survivors stand on the field to demonstrate for the cause.  Thanks for the pictures from Levi's Stadium.

 

____________________________________

 

It was good this week to feel a little more normal and gain more strength and energy.  During chemotherapy treatment, there was no way I could have walked very far, never mind more than once a week.  It was difficult to enjoy things I usually enjoyed, like spending time with friends, because of my lack of energy and pain level.  I am a little over two months out of chemotherapy, and its great to feel stronger. My pain level is very slowly reducing, and I hope it will be more manageable by the time I return to work.  It was surprising to be able to walk a little faster, but I can only credit my inspirational company. I am adjusting to current cancer medication, aid I can only believe it will continue to work so I can live a long life. I agree with those who observe me stronger, and more like myself.  It was a very long summer, but it was not a "brain transplant."  Among many lessons, this journey has made me "better, but not broken."

 

__________________________________

 

I just want to acknowledge some fellow survivors who are still fighting the fight with me.  Some are in chemo, and some are receiving radiation.  The side effects are sometimes seemingly unsurmountable, and unable to be ignored.  Its the bruises and scars that are signs of battle and strength. Conquering the emotional fears are courageous uphill battles that may take years to overcome. Rely on your support system, and ask for help. 

 

Breast cancer research has developed medicine so women like me can live longer and survive. I can only hope that research will continue to develop so my friends with leukemia and lymphoma can receive bone marrow transplants in the next few months.  I can only hope that the recently diagnosed can benefit from better medicine and more accurate therapies to sustain good quality of life.  And those with returning cancers are receiving better care since their first time around. 

 

__________________________________

 

Have a good week,

Sosa



 

September 28, 2014

 

Hello everyone and thank you for coming back every week.

 

This week begins another October, which is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. There will be lots of pink everywhere, on products sold in stores, and on pink ribbons worn by millions. Professional athletes will wear items with pink as another way to advocate for awareness.

 

Over the past years, October has always been special to those, including myself, who are close to those who have battled breast cancer.  I remember a time when two friends were bonded because their mothers were diagnosed and treated the same year. When I was diagnosed, I took a look around and found all the small pink items I had collected over the years. 

 

October will be a little different this year.  That inundation of pink that always comes around in the fall means a bit more.  While some argue how much money is actually contributed, the truth is each purchase contributes something towards breast cancer awareness and research. In fact, I feel the medicine I was fortunate to receive, and continue to receive is a result of development funded by dedicated efforts to fundraise and bring the reality of breast cancer to those who may not otherwise understand. 

 

Awareness is about education.  Paying attention to family history and a variety of risk factors will provide information to those who may never considered themselves a candidate for this disease. Opening up a dialogue with friends, family, and medical professionals will bring awareness about cancer.

 

One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer.  One in eight.  Look around you today. Do the math.

 

________________________________

 

 

Yesterday, I was lucky to spend time with coworkers and catch up with some who I have not seen in awhile. It is great to hear from those who read the blog and are not afraid to ask questions or share stories. It makes me happy to know I am part of your Monday morning routine.  Reading the blog may be the only way some know how to check in with me, and that is a big reason why I write to you every week. 

 

 

 

Love, Sosa

 

 

September 21, 2014

Thank you again for returning to the blog and checking in with me during the week.  I appreciate all of the love and support every day.

Living close to work means I often run into coworkers and friends in the area.  Its always fun to catch up with people, even if only briefly.  Its hard to believe I have not seen some of my coworkers or friends since I gave them the news in March. While I may not have seen some people in person, I am fortunate that social media and technology allows us to communicate and keep updated.

This week, I started another infusion drug, which along with supplements, will help strengthen my body against cancer.  Most women need extra vitamins as we get older, and I get some help, because of the way cancer has weakened my body.  The side effects are rough for a couple days, which is to be expected.  It could also be considered another weapon in my battle.

I am glad to be strong enough to contribute to the planning of my job's upcoming picnic, which will be another opportunity to spend time with friends from work.  I am also thankful to be able to drive to the city to see my parents and friends, and watch football there.  Its always fun to cheer with the crazies and root for the kids.

While it isn't always easy, I keep trying to build strength and adjusting to the new normal.  I can only hope that my story can help those who are also adjusting to cancer.  I am grateful to those in my support groups and the contacts I have made, all who have shared their stories with me.  My journey is difficult, but nothing compared to the struggles of children, or the challenges adults face.  These friends of mine keep me in perspective, because my road could be much harder to travel one day.

Love, Sosa

 

September 14, 2014

Hello everyone and thank you for coming back...

Thank you to everyone who takes some time Sunday night or Monday morning, every week, to check in and read what I have to say about this experience.  Thank you to those who share this blog with others, or share on Facebook, because you think it can help someone you love.  Sometimes, it helps those who have breast cancer, but this blog is also meant to help those who love the women who have breast cancer. 

Thank you to those who take the time to talk to their family members and open a discussion on how breast cancer may affect the family in the future.  Thank you to the women who have decided to pursue early detection, such as mammograms or genetic testing.  Thank you to everyone who took the time to look at websites with information on breast cancer and breast cancer treatment.  It means so much that you did research or just asked me questions.  Some people never know enough until it is too late, so those efforts may actually save someone's life.

___________________________

I am always fortunate to hear from everyone who checks in to see how things are going.  I often communicate or meet with friends, because its important for me to get out, and for people to see how I am doing.  Cancer has not restricted me from going to movies or attending football games.  Its important to continue to enjoy everything that I always have. 

Having breast cancer is a part of my life, but is not my whole life.  However, I felt like it was, as I accepted the new reality that started in February of this year.  I am still reminded hourly that something "life changing" has happened.  I am reminded every time I look in the mirror, or open the medicine cabinet.  But "life changing" does not mean "life ending."  I will continue some form of treatment throughout my life, such as a daily pill or monthly infusion.  The medicine has improved to allow me to function as normally as I ever did, just in a different gear.  Before I return to work full time, I will continue to take the necessary time off to adjust to new medications and build strength. 

Living is possible. Life is what you make of it. 

Love to all,
Sosa

September 7, 2014

 

 

It's actually September.  The year has gone by so fast. Some days have been longer than others, but its all about how you spend your time.

 

I spent this week as usual, attending yoga and support with the Cancer Support Community.  Watching baseball and waiting on football to start has helped the past few months go by.  Good TV and bad TV always helps, as we all wait for the Fall shows, and the final season of SOA.  It always helps to hear from friends with the phone calls and texts. 

 

I am getting more energy to get more done on my to-do list, which was not easy during chemotherapy.  I am walking more often, and finding it is less difficult each time.  Unfortunately, what will continue to happen for a few months is the muscle stiffness as my body adjusts after chemo.  I told my friends, I will get there, just a little slower...

 

My friends were nice enough this week to include me for some doggie quality time, which is wholly therapeutic.  If my apartment was bigger, I would have a dog or two or three. But I must settle for visits and pictures and Facebook posts.

 

Football has also started, so its time to root for the Dogs, the Rams, and #81.

 

______________________

 

As I have said before, this diagnosis, this journey, has connected me with so many.  Friends have shown unbelievable support.  Past friends have reconnected, and shared prayers and hope.  I have learned how breast cancer has affected many of the women in my life, and the lives of friends and families.  I am fortunate to hear the stories of survival and tributes to those lost.  Answering questions for some, but just being able to listen to others, has given me the opportunity to find perspective on how to continue to fight.

 

I was reminded by my cousin about my aunt and godmother, who was diagnosed with breast cancer, and lived for many years after surgery and treatment.  We were both too young to remember her being sick, but even if she was, I don't think she would have shown it.  My cousin reminded me that she was up and moving within a year, and was never one to cause worry for her loved ones.  He said I am like her in that way.

 

I spoke with another survivor who reminded me of "moving forward," despite cancer, as it continues to be a part of my life, for the rest of my life. As my treatment continues, I will carry my cancer with me in a fancy purse, because I only have fancy purses.... Anyone can choose to let cancer or any disease, or any struggle, defeat you.  It will kill you if you allow it.  Living with breast cancer, living with difficult treatment, and accepting its reality, is the path I am on.  There is no reason I cannot work, or travel, or enjoy life, as I did before.  Just make adjustments, cause we got stuff to do.

 

Love, Sosa

 

August 31, 2014

Hello Everyone! Hope your Labor Day weekend is filled with good weather and no traffic.  Its been warm in the Bay Area, and the breeze is welcome. Let's hope the heat in the Central Valley reminds certain parents of mine to leave the yardwork for when its cooler....

I am continuing to walk as much as possible.  My muscles are going to have trouble adjusting for a few months, and I am doing the best I can to stretch and be active.  According to my friends, I am still walking on a good pace.

This week, I was lucky to spend time with many of my friends. I saw my godson, and he will be taller than me soon.  I received cards, and a surprise care package from a college friend. There were dinners, and surprise meetings on the side of the road or parking lots. I ate some good food, including homemade chicken pot pies. And, I was able to see some doggies.

On Thursday, I went to the Giants game with another breast cancer survivor.  She is my age, and we went through chemotherapy around the same time.  We are both Gamer babes, and we enjoyed great seats and sunny weather.  Turns out there were quite a few friends at the game as well.

Thank you all for continuing to check in, play games, send pictures, or send messages.  I appreciate hearing how everyone is doing, and what's new in your world.  The picture on the blog says "Live."  Do something this week that reminds you to do so: Live.

Love, Sosa

P.S.
If any of you are BRCA1 or BRCA2, or know someone who is, there is an observational study being conducted by UCSF.  You are compensated, and it requires minimal participation (twice a year). The link has the contact information to call or email.
Here is the link: http://www.cancer.gov/clinicaltrials/search/view?cdrid=754972&version=HealthProfessional

August 24, 2014

Hello Friends,

 

Did you survive the earthquake? I jumped out of bed and stood in the doorway.  It was definitely a roller.  And if you want to know what's really going on, check Facebook for the news updates.

 

I am grateful for everyone's support as my chemotherapy has ended.  It has been one month since my last infusion.  What has happened since is my body's adjustment to the medicine leaving my body.  While I have more energy, I find I do not have as much strength.  During chemotherapy, I experienced extensive bone pain during the week after infusion.  Now, my muscles are incredibly sore most of the time, even after sleeping or sitting.  Which is odd, if you aren't running the ten miles like you feel you have.  What is good is that I am walking more often, which I enjoy.  I continue to practice yoga, which is a great way to stretch out and focus energy in one's body.

 

The poison that has been in my body will take months to leave.  In fact, the best sign is when my hair grows back.  That will happen in four to six months, and that is the most obvious sign that my body has recovered from the most "ironic" way to treat cancer.  The drugs had to destroy so much of my system, thus destroying the cancer. But, I choose to do what it takes to survive.

 

In fact, another survivor pointed out to me that each day after diagnosis, is a day of survivorship.  Accepting the diagnosis and the treatment options, whatever they may be, means making choices to survive.  Every day you choose to live and fight, is a day when you choose not to let cancer win.  Some people consider landmarks, like five or ten years of being cancer free, as a survivor.  Some people say if you survived treatment, such as chemo, then, you are a survivor.

 

I think anyone who continues to move forward is a survivor. Whether its through early detection or trusting in treatment, deciding to put faith in the medicine is a choice to survive.  Regardless of the severity of the treatment or the extent of the disease, if you choose to keep living, then you are a SURVIVOR.

 

Keep your spirit positive and keep appreciating what's good in life.  

 

Love, Sosa

 



August 17, 2014.....Another Week Down

Its another week without chemotherapy and my body continues to adjust.  Another week waiting to find out whats next in my treatment and for my mind has to adjust as well. When there is no news, the waiting can sometimes be the hardest part.  I don't have answers for myself, let alone for anyone else.

But,

You get through it.  When it may seem difficult, I take one day at a time.  Sometimes, one hour at a time.  Get up, walk, shower, eat.  Look at the cards or the messages from loved ones, and refocus.  Keep moving forward.

Because,

The laundry still needs to be done.  There will always be traffic on 580 in Livermore. And I will still have cancer tomorrow. 

Do what you can until you cannot.  Continue to hope, be strong, and have faith, in the medicine and yourself.

____________________

This week, I spent time with a woman who opted for surgery, instead of treatment, based on her medical history.  I was impressed by her pride and courage.  I also met with a support group of breast cancer survivors.  They offered another perspective on living life in wellness after treatment.  Meeting with other women and listening to their stories is very helpful.  While treatment plans and medicines can be similar, every woman's diagnosis and history is unique.  These perspectives provide valuable education for the newly diagnosed about what to expect, and various ways to handle emotions, side effects, and stress.  I think its important for patients and survivors to find support in others, especially in a group or individual counseling. 

____________________

Thank you to everyone who continues to read this blog and post comments, or send emails or messages.  I have been very lucky to continue to reach out to others, as they have reached out to me with love and support. 

I always appreciate distractions, especially those that remind me of what my life used to be. I appreciate good news, like engagements, and wedding dresses, and new kitchens. And baseball, and little league, and finally, football.  Its nice not to think about cancer all the time, no matter how bald you are.

Have a good week,
Sosa

August 10, 2014

 

Isn't that the truth?

 

The image above was sent to me from a friend who survived breast cancer, and I forwarded it to a friend with lymphoma.

 

These last few months have gone by quickly, even though some of the days are long. I was diagnosed at the end of February and its already August. I have had some very long days, and longer nights.  Its all part of the war, and like war, it is exhausting and ongoing, and there are losses to bear.

 

A year ago, I was working, and going to baseball games, and spending time with friends.  Now, I have cancer. I'm bald and on leave from work. I have tried to stay active, and my friends have helped me remember what I enjoy most, and showed how much support is around me. 

 

A friend asked me this week if I thought these months were going to be as hard as it has been.  I did not expect to get through chemo as well as I did. I say "as well," mainly because I did not get as sick as most patients do. As a nurse's daughter, I prepared and medicated as needed.  Listening to my body and consulting with my nurses and doctors helped with the side effects. I attended a support group weekly and learned perspective. As difficult as chemo can be for anyone, there will be harder battles to face.  They will be physical and emotional, and I will prepare for whatever the treatment may be.  I do not have any news now, and decisions are yet to be made.  Remember, each patient is different, and my situation is different from someone else.

 

Since I was diagnosed, I have been public about how this journey has affected me and also how many people have approached me.  It is important to acknowledge those who have never known anyone with cancer.  I commend those who have asked questions to understand what is happening to me, but also to understand what could happen to them or their loved ones.

____________________________________

 

Breast cancer does not discriminate.  It touches lives of so many.  In the past month, I learned of more friends and parents who have been recently diagnosed. Some have minor surgery and some have mastectomies and chemo in their future. In our lifetime, one in eight women will be diagnosed with some degree of breast cancer.  The treatments and medicines are much better than twenty, ten, or even one year ago.  As long as women are reaching out to doctors for early detection then treatment, recovery, and remission are easier than it used to be.  It is still hard to learn, and even harder to accept.  But there is support and there is hope. 

____________________________________

Love, Sosa

 

 



August 3, 2014

Another Week Down

 

 

Hello Everyone and Welcome Back....

 

 

While the week had a rough start as I was recovering from my last chemotherapy, it finished up on a better note.  I continue to try to do something every day, even if it just means I take a drive to get some fresh air.

 

As you can see above, I attended another Giants game this week.  For those of you who think this is weird, please understand I attended 2-3 games a month last season.  I attend all sorts of sporting events when I can, and baseball and softball are at the top of my list.

 

This week, two friends returned from their travels with very cool gifts for me.  I always feel fortunate, and I make note of all the places I want to go when I can travel again.  Maybe a cruise, Hawaii, or Comic-Con....

 

I took part in two celebrations this week.  The DP turns 50 this week, and I spent all day Sunday with friends at an outdoor party.  The weather was easy on us and the company was lots of fun.  All we needed was a slip and slide...

 

I also met with my parents and extended family at a celebration for a family friend who lived to be 101.  I listened to the stories of people who grew up together in the 1950s and 60s. There were pictures of my grandpa as a young man, and reminders of what life used to be like, post WWII, when families and friends lived on the same block and planned vacations together.

 

My parents are still hanging in there, and they always say hello and appreciate the support of my friends in the Bay Area.

______________________________________

 

Maybe its just me, but it seems cancer is an ongoing theme in movies and TV shows lately.  "The Fault in Our Stars" and "Wish I Was Here" are recent movies with characters with cancer, and "Chasing Life" is a drama on the Family Channel, where a young woman is diagnosed with leukemia. There was even an episode of "Botched" where a breast cancer survivor needed another corrrective surgery towards reconstruction. 

 

Its kind of like, when you drive a certain kind of car, then you notice that car on the road, more than usual.  Or when the side effects of advertised medications are read aloud on TV, and there is a reference to cancer.  Or I notice other women wearing hats or scarves like me.

 

Some people may think its not the best thing for a cancer patient to pay attention to programs or commercials that involve cancer.  Any patient can tell you using search engines and reading numerous articles can cause more harm than good.  The benefit of fictional programs allows people to relate to a variety of characters, from patient to parent to friend.  Often, its educational for those who still may not understand what the cancer patient is going through, which then opens the door for questions and communication.

 

Don't ever be afraid to ask questions.  Have a good week.

 

Love, 

Sosa   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



July 27, 2014

Cycle Six, My Last Chemo

 

Hello Everyone, and Welcome Back.

 

As you can see, I completed my last chemotherapy this week.  This is the first of many long steps towards continuing to live a long life.  I knew this would be a long year, and the first five months have been incredibly hard.  Its hard to be off work, and its hard to go through everything I have been faced with.  Its hard every day. 

 

My positive outlook and realistic perspective have helped me get through the hardest times.  As I enter the next phase of treatment, I will be faced with new information.  This means new feelings, anxiety, and fears.  I was asked how I deal with the "hard times," and I said I allow those feelings to pass through me.  Over my life, I have learned how emotions can drain your energy.  I have learned to acknowledge significant emotions, and allow them to pass.  That means feeling sad or angry or scared.  I believe allowing feelings to build up, or avoiding them, demands more energy and strength than one may realize.  Let them pass, and move on to the next thing. 

 



I will not have any new information for a few weeks.  My body needs to recover from the chemotherapy cycle.  Just like the other cycles, I am dealing with exhaustion and pain.  The medicine is very "heavy," which makes it difficult to adjust to with each cycle.  I am sluggish and uncomfortable, and the heat is always a "plus."

This week, I attended a caregiver appreciation event at the Cancer Support Community, and a breast cancer fundraiser in Morgan Hill.  Both events acknowledge two important aspects of cancer: support and awareness.  The CSC event was an event where patients and survivors could acknowledge personal or professional caregivers.  I acknowledged Team Sosa at this event with words of "Family, Generosity, and Support."  More of the shirts were delivered this week, and I will never be able to express my gratitude for everyone's support. 

Over the weekend, I joined two high school friends at "Bingo for Breast Cancer" in Morgan Hill.  This event raised funds for breast cancer awareness through raffles, bingo, and auctions.  I was honored to be invited and enjoyed the evening with over 100 people involved in an organization, with thousands of dollars in donations.  It was a hot, long evening, but I enjoyed spending time with good people who are bringing awareness to this disease that threatens so many women, every day.  The funds allow for free mammograms and early detection programs. These fundraising events provide funds to develop the medicines that are helping me today.

I hope everyone has a good week and stays cool.  Thank you for the random photos and for the inspirational messages.  I am doing my part to keep up on my new shows and baseball games and new purses.  Keep the distractions coming my way.

Love, Sosa

 

July 20, 2014

 

 

This quote was sent to me from Mika, a breast cancer survivor.

 

 

It can apply to any woman, and hopefully motivate her to make her own choices.  Make your life better, regardless of the cards you have been dealt.  Play your hand, and don't let it play you.

 

As it applies to me, I could have chosen to be sad or depressed when this all began.  But I have learned through life experience, that the energy it takes to be mad or sad or angry, can be and usually is, exhausting.  I know enough about myself to allow those emotions of fear and sadness and anger to run their course. In the beginning, I had two really bad days.  But then, it became time to move forward. 

 

I am heading into my last chemotherapy this week.  That means in a few weeks, I will know more about my treatment plan and what it takes to continue living in my "new normal."  While I must believe it will be "good news," I am prepared for all of the possibilities. 

 

I have never denied the scary truth that is breast cancer.  I own what this is and how it has affected me and those who care for me. Now, I will be at a different pace, with a new perspective on how to live this life. 

 

_______________________________

 

Thank you to everyone who spent time with me this week.  I appreciate the company and eating too much food.  Thank you for the emails and messages and conversations.  

 

If anyone is interested in attending a FREE COCKTAIL HOUR on Tuesday in Lafayette, please let me know.  The Cancer Support Community is holding a caregiver appreciation event, Cocktails for a Cause.  The evening is about recognition for private, professional, and medical caregivers. I have submitted TEAMSOSA as my representative, and I plan on stopping by.

 

 http://cancersupport.net/cocktails-for-a-cause/

 

Love, Sosa

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

July 13, 2014

Thank You Flowers

 

 

 

Hello Everyone and Welcome Back.  I would like to thank you all for checking in with your messages and emails and calls.  It is very different to be off work for such a long time, and not have regular contact with people in my life.  I understand it is important to focus on my health, and being at work would cause me stress. That does not mean I do not miss my people.

 

 

This week, I was blessed with gifts from my community, hence the flowers.  Through the American Cancer Society and local health plans, cancer patients are eligible to receive free wigs.  I took advantage of this individual fitting service and additional resources to get two wigs.  I don't know how long it will take for my hair to grow back and or what it will look like.  The wigs, along with scarves and hats, will help me feel more comfortable, especially when I return to the work force.

 

I was also lucky enough to attend two MLB games this week.  It was great to be invited to spend a friend's birthday watching baseball in Oakland. And, on Sunday, watching two grand slams by the battery in San Francisco. 

 

It has also been a crazy few weeks of retirement of so many longstanding individuals in my department.  They deserve many thanks for their contributions and guidance over many years serving this County.  It is unfortunate some have to retire sooner than planned, and their unique personalities will be missed. 

 

I would also like to acknowledge and congratulate two friends who were finally married this week.  It has been a long time coming, and I wish them all the best. 

 

And, as always, I want to say thanks to those who offer me inspirational messages, support, favors, or love during this time in my life.  I appreciate it every day, and I can only hope to express my thanks over time.

 

Love, Sosa

 

email : heysosateamsosa@gmail.com

 

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