June 28, 2015

Plumeria is an island flower.  I will think of Hawaii and Marie whenever I see it.  Last week, my community lost a friend to this disease.  She fought hard through a very difficult and lengthy treatment.  She has a great family and many who loved her smile.  We will miss you, Marie.

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This week, I introduced another friend to my blog.  While he isn't diagnosed, he knows people who are.  I try to communicate resources to others, because that's the necessary information to prepare oneself for the road ahead.

I was fortunate enough to sit down with another young person this week.  She is diagnosed with cancer a few months ago and in the first cycles of chemotherapy.  We discussed resources like the American Cancer Society and the Cancer Support Community.  We talked about the "new normal," and how facing the disease means adjusting to its rules.  We talked about communicating with loved ones and being selfish. 

That part will always be difficult for some people, but necessary to power through the tough days.  We talked about being emotional, but only briefly each day.  Giving time to grieve is important to understanding the long road ahead.  But it does not help to be sad all the time.  It is important to allow time to process emotions, like anger and sadness. Everyone has right to their feelings and opinions.  Then let it go.

Being able to talk with another young person about cancer is a very special experience.  When I first walked into support groups, there were very few people my age. I met a few people as the months went on, and I am glad to keep in touch.  Being diagnosed before age 40 or 50, separates a generation of people who may still want to be married, or have children, or are still working full time.  In this lifetime, there are more people who are choosing to start their lives after age 30.  Its bittersweet to think about young people who were saving those decisions for later, are now faced with a shorter time, hindered with treatments, and an unknown future.

I don't know how long I have.  But neither does anyone else.  The rest of my journey will be harder, this is true.  But it does not mean I don't want to reach my personal goals. I still want to move out of my apartment, and travel, and have some dogs, and fall in love.  I tell myself, and others, every day, that I am living with cancer.  "With" is the key word.

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Love, Sosa

June 21, 2015

Happy Father's Day.
If you know my old man, send him a hello.  Maybe you played ball for him, or he taught you something new.  Or you recognize him because he looks exactly the same for the past twenty years....


This weekend, I stopped by a Relay for Life event in Vacaville.  It was over a hundred degrees, so I could not stay too long.  It was wonderful to see all the people walking, and a few crazy people running, during the 24 hour event.  There were lots of participants when I stopped by, and I am sure there were more coming.  The American Cancer Society uses the Relay for Life event to increase awareness and honor the fallen.  It is a great experience, and I hope to participate in the event next year, or with other local towns. 

Here is a link: http://relay.acsevents.org/site/PageServer?pagename=relay&gclid=CjwKEAjwwZmsBRDOh7C6rKO8zkcSJABCusnbtdQ6gJMduqfKxHGT_sA14QAmyY0crJdBa1RlhWq5GhoCPF7w_wcB


Another link I would like to post has to do with a viral video about Metastatic Breast Cancer.  A woman uses note cards to explain her perspective about having the disease.  Her video encourages people to understand breast cancer and what a re-diagnosis means.  I am in the 6-10% initially diagnosed. 
Hopefully, this video and the links that she recommends will provide some more understanding for your friends and family.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDQ0FjP7J-c

Have a good week,
Love, Sosa

 

July 14, 2015

Flag Day

 

and Happy Birthday to Meg and TJ.

 

The blog has been viewed over 15,000 times since it began over a year ago.  I appreciate those who take the time to look at past entries and share with others.  People are diagnosed every day, which means family and friends are faced with understanding and accepting the change that cancer has on their lives.

 

One thing that I don't discuss too much is mortality.  I continue to put faith in the medicine that is extensively researched and proven to work. Even knowing that the standard treatment of surgery and chemotherapy will not save me. Research has proven that catching breast cancer early and treating it aggressively can ensure a long, cancer free life.  Research has shown that those with cancer that returns later in life, can continue to live life with available treatment.  Quality of life is improved because medicine controls the spread of the disease. 

 

That means more people are living after being treated for breast cancer. 

 

And, more people like me are living with the treatment for breast cancer.  That means my quality of life is good, because of improvements in medicine.  I will continue on my current non-chemo treatment until my doctor decides chemo or surgery is that way to go.  It is not an easy task not to think about cancer every day, because it just isn't.  That is part of my life now.  But it is not my whole life. 

 

I do not think abut dying as if that's my only reason for living.  Yes, cancer is devastating because it affects the patient and their friends and family.  But, unless it has taken over your everyday functions, it doesn't have to be everything and anything.  I remain very active and live with the disease.  It's all I can do.  I am no more different than anyone else, but I adapted a different perspective on a lot of things. 

 

Accepting my disease means I accept my mortality.  Some things may happen to me sooner than others, or not.  Some people will be diagnosed after me, and leave this Earth sooner, because of the disease they have and the journey chosen.  As anyone who has experienced the trauma of loss can attest, the experience is not easy, or brief, or simple to explain.  But, after time, and education, and support, and grief, acceptance will eventually come.

 

One day, it will get more difficult.  One day, it will become very, very hard.

 

But I don't think about that day.  I think about tomorrow.

 

Love, Sosa

 

Go Dubs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

June 7, 2015

 

 

The photo above is of a gift from Major League Baseball for being a finalist in the Honorary Batgirl contest.  I now have two little pink bats and one very special big one. Pretty cool.

 

This week was rough at first, but eventually much easier because I was distracted with work and life.  Watched some softball, some basketball, and went to a Giants game.  I am very lucky to have spent lots of time with friends. 

 

And now I have a cold. And I stubbed my toe.  Oh well, so is life. 

 

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This was a week of very happy news for friends and very tough news for others.  I watched people focus on the negative aspects of certain events.  There is so much time wasted on anger and frustration with the things that cannot be changed.  It is so fruitful to take the time to see things differently, and fight through the emotions that challenge us.  Accept the help from others, regardless of your pride.   Its hard, I know.  And trust in whatever you need to trust in.

 

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On Facebook this week, I watched and shared a video of a woman who was treated for breast cancer, which returned later.  She reminded her audience that there is no cure once it returns.  Early diagnosis is key to preventing the recurrence.  And its true that treatment is not a guarantee.  But the science has developed to give more men and women a greater chance than ever to prevent recurrence and live long healthy lives.

 

What else is good about the medicine, as this woman said in her message, is that survivor like me, who are in the 10% of diagnosed with Metastatic Cancer at their first diagnosis, is that the medicine is there and allows us to live while in treatment.  She used the term "Lifers," which I think is appropriate.

 

I say this often, but it is a reminder.  I may have a cold, or car problems, but I still cook and clean and get up every day.  I choose to live. 

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The word "WARRIOR" means a little bit more this week.  Go Dubs.

 

 

 

Love, Sosa