July 5, 2015

This week I lost a member of my support group to cancer.  She was an advocate for others during her ten year battle and she will be missed.  Like our friend Marie, she wished for a celebration of her life, upon her departure. 
Thank you Jean, for your spirit.


Holding on to memories of experiences and lessons learned, is essential to making good choices. Learning from mistakes and accepting the past is part of that balance.  Letting go of the anger and regret with the past is much more difficult.  Even figuring out what causes anger or regret is just as difficult.

People I know have lost their lives to cancer these last few weeks.  Its very easy to hold on to the grief. Those feelings can hover and remain for more than just a few days. Eventually, it will be easier to loosen the grip on grief. I believe it is just as important to let go. That decision is unique to the individual, and can only come with time.  It is part of the balance.

As I have written, I choose to live my life as normally as possible.  But it does not mean I am not dying.  I am not in denial about the disease I have or the reality of its damaging effects.  When friends lose their family members, it is a reality check.  Do not think me foolish; I understand this road.  Being on this journey means I travel uphill, a lot.  I am reminded daily of everything.  And I am reminded more often lately, of how cancer touches the lives of people who do not have the disease.

I do not wish grief upon anyone; I acknowledge it is part of accepting loss.  Writing in the blog, is a way of accepting loss.  Celebrating the lives of those who fought bravely against an incurable enemy, is another way of understanding grief and loss.  It is finding solace in granting the wishes of how the loved ones wanted to be remembered.  Eventually, it is holding on to the memories and letting go of the grief.

Love, Sosa

I am taking a break from the blog and will return the first week Sunday in August.