July 27, 2014

Cycle Six, My Last Chemo

 

Hello Everyone, and Welcome Back.

 

As you can see, I completed my last chemotherapy this week.  This is the first of many long steps towards continuing to live a long life.  I knew this would be a long year, and the first five months have been incredibly hard.  Its hard to be off work, and its hard to go through everything I have been faced with.  Its hard every day. 

 

My positive outlook and realistic perspective have helped me get through the hardest times.  As I enter the next phase of treatment, I will be faced with new information.  This means new feelings, anxiety, and fears.  I was asked how I deal with the "hard times," and I said I allow those feelings to pass through me.  Over my life, I have learned how emotions can drain your energy.  I have learned to acknowledge significant emotions, and allow them to pass.  That means feeling sad or angry or scared.  I believe allowing feelings to build up, or avoiding them, demands more energy and strength than one may realize.  Let them pass, and move on to the next thing. 

 



I will not have any new information for a few weeks.  My body needs to recover from the chemotherapy cycle.  Just like the other cycles, I am dealing with exhaustion and pain.  The medicine is very "heavy," which makes it difficult to adjust to with each cycle.  I am sluggish and uncomfortable, and the heat is always a "plus."

This week, I attended a caregiver appreciation event at the Cancer Support Community, and a breast cancer fundraiser in Morgan Hill.  Both events acknowledge two important aspects of cancer: support and awareness.  The CSC event was an event where patients and survivors could acknowledge personal or professional caregivers.  I acknowledged Team Sosa at this event with words of "Family, Generosity, and Support."  More of the shirts were delivered this week, and I will never be able to express my gratitude for everyone's support. 

Over the weekend, I joined two high school friends at "Bingo for Breast Cancer" in Morgan Hill.  This event raised funds for breast cancer awareness through raffles, bingo, and auctions.  I was honored to be invited and enjoyed the evening with over 100 people involved in an organization, with thousands of dollars in donations.  It was a hot, long evening, but I enjoyed spending time with good people who are bringing awareness to this disease that threatens so many women, every day.  The funds allow for free mammograms and early detection programs. These fundraising events provide funds to develop the medicines that are helping me today.

I hope everyone has a good week and stays cool.  Thank you for the random photos and for the inspirational messages.  I am doing my part to keep up on my new shows and baseball games and new purses.  Keep the distractions coming my way.

Love, Sosa

 

July 20, 2014

 

 

This quote was sent to me from Mika, a breast cancer survivor.

 

 

It can apply to any woman, and hopefully motivate her to make her own choices.  Make your life better, regardless of the cards you have been dealt.  Play your hand, and don't let it play you.

 

As it applies to me, I could have chosen to be sad or depressed when this all began.  But I have learned through life experience, that the energy it takes to be mad or sad or angry, can be and usually is, exhausting.  I know enough about myself to allow those emotions of fear and sadness and anger to run their course. In the beginning, I had two really bad days.  But then, it became time to move forward. 

 

I am heading into my last chemotherapy this week.  That means in a few weeks, I will know more about my treatment plan and what it takes to continue living in my "new normal."  While I must believe it will be "good news," I am prepared for all of the possibilities. 

 

I have never denied the scary truth that is breast cancer.  I own what this is and how it has affected me and those who care for me. Now, I will be at a different pace, with a new perspective on how to live this life. 

 

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Thank you to everyone who spent time with me this week.  I appreciate the company and eating too much food.  Thank you for the emails and messages and conversations.  

 

If anyone is interested in attending a FREE COCKTAIL HOUR on Tuesday in Lafayette, please let me know.  The Cancer Support Community is holding a caregiver appreciation event, Cocktails for a Cause.  The evening is about recognition for private, professional, and medical caregivers. I have submitted TEAMSOSA as my representative, and I plan on stopping by.

 

 http://cancersupport.net/cocktails-for-a-cause/

 

Love, Sosa

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

July 13, 2014

Thank You Flowers

 

 

 

Hello Everyone and Welcome Back.  I would like to thank you all for checking in with your messages and emails and calls.  It is very different to be off work for such a long time, and not have regular contact with people in my life.  I understand it is important to focus on my health, and being at work would cause me stress. That does not mean I do not miss my people.

 

 

This week, I was blessed with gifts from my community, hence the flowers.  Through the American Cancer Society and local health plans, cancer patients are eligible to receive free wigs.  I took advantage of this individual fitting service and additional resources to get two wigs.  I don't know how long it will take for my hair to grow back and or what it will look like.  The wigs, along with scarves and hats, will help me feel more comfortable, especially when I return to the work force.

 

I was also lucky enough to attend two MLB games this week.  It was great to be invited to spend a friend's birthday watching baseball in Oakland. And, on Sunday, watching two grand slams by the battery in San Francisco. 

 

It has also been a crazy few weeks of retirement of so many longstanding individuals in my department.  They deserve many thanks for their contributions and guidance over many years serving this County.  It is unfortunate some have to retire sooner than planned, and their unique personalities will be missed. 

 

I would also like to acknowledge and congratulate two friends who were finally married this week.  It has been a long time coming, and I wish them all the best. 

 

And, as always, I want to say thanks to those who offer me inspirational messages, support, favors, or love during this time in my life.  I appreciate it every day, and I can only hope to express my thanks over time.

 

Love, Sosa

 

email : heysosateamsosa@gmail.com

 

If you have trouble posting comments to the blog, try posting from a computer, instead of a cellphone.  Or, if you send me your comments, I will post for you.

July 6, 2014

Cycle 5

 



 

Hello Everyone, and Welcome Back.  Thank you all for reaching out in whatever way you have this week.  I appreciate people who call or text or email, or post on Facebook.  I always smile when I get a fun or inspiring message, because it shows someone is thinking of me, and wishes me well.

 

The blog has been viewed almost 7,000 times.  I have received emails from people letting me know they read it and how it is inspiring and hopeful.  What's more, is I have been contacted by friends who know people who have been recently diagnosed, and the blog offers one more resource for people with questions.  My hope is you share this blog and my email address with your friends and family.  Breast cancer in many forms, is more prevalent than anyone ever imagined.  And its very scary when it happens to someone you know or love.  What I have gained is knowledge about the effects of all types of cancer, including leukemia, lymphoma, colon, and ovarian, among others.  Please allow me to be a resource for others, as I have been fortunate to recieve help from others during my journey.

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Recently, I spoke/texted with a friend who has an older friend who is diagnosed and is faced with choices about chemotherapy and surgery.  I spoke with a survivor whose last chemo was a year ago.  I get calls from survivors of over 10 or 20 years.  Being diagnosed with breast cancer at 37 is the road I have to follow, and I appreciate anyone who is joining me with support and strength.  Its not just about those afflicted with the disease.  Its also about those who care for people with cancer.

 

However you deal with the knowledge of cancer is how you deal with it.  Its about being sad or angry, or confused or lost.  Some people handle the news and become dependable and strong.  Some people show a side of themselves that is incredibly supportive, almost surprisingly so. Conversations happen that reveal the incredible heart within people you never thought to consider.  Some express feelings of sympathy, but are unable to do anything more because its not affecting them directly, or they are having trouble understanding all of the difficult emotions.  It is reality, and that happens, and I rely on those who have approached me with love and strength.  I help those who need a better understanding of the disease, because they ask.  But, I understand, how a withdrawal may be because of fear or lack of interest.  Self defense mechanisms come in many forms, including denial.  If that is happening to someone you know, I hope they do not offend you as they try to figure out their feelings.  I recognize crisis and stress affects people differently.  I accept people for who they are and do not ask them for any more than what they are capable of.    

 

You do what you can.  I will do what I can, until I cannot.

 

I am reminded every minute of every day of my battle.  Every hour that it hurts, every time I struggle with something physical, like take a walk or lift something. This isn't getting any easier, and some days are harder than others.  I am in this role I have been charged with, and I am glad every day I asked for help from my friends and my community. 

 

Thank you for taking the time to read and share the blog. 

 

Andrea