October 4, 2015

As promised, I have returned the first week of October.  Here is hoping all is well, wherever you are.

I am staying busy and working two jobs.  It has almost been a year since I returned to work, which is an important milestone.  It means I have survived my first year without more chemotherapy. I still take hormone therapy to control my cancer, but, right now, its not so bad that more intensive treatment is required. 

Being a survivor means more than just surviving cancer and treatment.  It is what fuels managing symptoms and physical exhaustion.  It is learning how to distinguish aches from significant pain.  Survival is managing a busy schedule and allotting for an hour a day, or a few hours a week to chill out.  Survivors appreciate a night off from everything, and welcome distractions.

The weight of our world can be very hard to bear.  There is the physical demands of post treatment readjustments, even a year later.  There are the emotional and psychological demands of knowing your death is sooner than previously imagined.  And there is the reality, facing the truth, that this disease does not play favorites, and does not care who it goes after.

This week, my community lost another fighter.  I went to school with Charlene in Madera.  I remember when he school went to her brother's funeral, after he was killed in the explosion on the USS Iowa.  I always thought she had the prettiest eyes.  When I was diagnosed and in treatment, I saw some Facebook postings, and we sent a few messages.  She and I shared some of the demanding stories that only survivors can share.  Charlene went through so much physically with her second cancer battle.  And she came to a complete decision to return home to her family to rest in peace.  It is publicly clear, she was truly loved.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  This month focuses on the early detection programs, and informing communities of the new medicine and efforts to develop treatment.  Pink is everywhere, and it means more to me than it did two years ago.

Just this past week, I met more survivors, because I was wearing a survivor shirt.  We exchanged stories and reminded each other to keep fighting.  Because its all we do.  I appreciate those who are cancer free after undergoing treatment.   

I will wear my pink this October, as a badge of courage and strength and survival.  Because, right now, today, I survive this cancer.  

Love, Sosa