September 21, 2014

Thank you again for returning to the blog and checking in with me during the week.  I appreciate all of the love and support every day.

Living close to work means I often run into coworkers and friends in the area.  Its always fun to catch up with people, even if only briefly.  Its hard to believe I have not seen some of my coworkers or friends since I gave them the news in March. While I may not have seen some people in person, I am fortunate that social media and technology allows us to communicate and keep updated.

This week, I started another infusion drug, which along with supplements, will help strengthen my body against cancer.  Most women need extra vitamins as we get older, and I get some help, because of the way cancer has weakened my body.  The side effects are rough for a couple days, which is to be expected.  It could also be considered another weapon in my battle.

I am glad to be strong enough to contribute to the planning of my job's upcoming picnic, which will be another opportunity to spend time with friends from work.  I am also thankful to be able to drive to the city to see my parents and friends, and watch football there.  Its always fun to cheer with the crazies and root for the kids.

While it isn't always easy, I keep trying to build strength and adjusting to the new normal.  I can only hope that my story can help those who are also adjusting to cancer.  I am grateful to those in my support groups and the contacts I have made, all who have shared their stories with me.  My journey is difficult, but nothing compared to the struggles of children, or the challenges adults face.  These friends of mine keep me in perspective, because my road could be much harder to travel one day.

Love, Sosa

 

September 14, 2014

Hello everyone and thank you for coming back...

Thank you to everyone who takes some time Sunday night or Monday morning, every week, to check in and read what I have to say about this experience.  Thank you to those who share this blog with others, or share on Facebook, because you think it can help someone you love.  Sometimes, it helps those who have breast cancer, but this blog is also meant to help those who love the women who have breast cancer. 

Thank you to those who take the time to talk to their family members and open a discussion on how breast cancer may affect the family in the future.  Thank you to the women who have decided to pursue early detection, such as mammograms or genetic testing.  Thank you to everyone who took the time to look at websites with information on breast cancer and breast cancer treatment.  It means so much that you did research or just asked me questions.  Some people never know enough until it is too late, so those efforts may actually save someone's life.

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I am always fortunate to hear from everyone who checks in to see how things are going.  I often communicate or meet with friends, because its important for me to get out, and for people to see how I am doing.  Cancer has not restricted me from going to movies or attending football games.  Its important to continue to enjoy everything that I always have. 

Having breast cancer is a part of my life, but is not my whole life.  However, I felt like it was, as I accepted the new reality that started in February of this year.  I am still reminded hourly that something "life changing" has happened.  I am reminded every time I look in the mirror, or open the medicine cabinet.  But "life changing" does not mean "life ending."  I will continue some form of treatment throughout my life, such as a daily pill or monthly infusion.  The medicine has improved to allow me to function as normally as I ever did, just in a different gear.  Before I return to work full time, I will continue to take the necessary time off to adjust to new medications and build strength. 

Living is possible. Life is what you make of it. 

Love to all,
Sosa

September 7, 2014

 

 

It's actually September.  The year has gone by so fast. Some days have been longer than others, but its all about how you spend your time.

 

I spent this week as usual, attending yoga and support with the Cancer Support Community.  Watching baseball and waiting on football to start has helped the past few months go by.  Good TV and bad TV always helps, as we all wait for the Fall shows, and the final season of SOA.  It always helps to hear from friends with the phone calls and texts. 

 

I am getting more energy to get more done on my to-do list, which was not easy during chemotherapy.  I am walking more often, and finding it is less difficult each time.  Unfortunately, what will continue to happen for a few months is the muscle stiffness as my body adjusts after chemo.  I told my friends, I will get there, just a little slower...

 

My friends were nice enough this week to include me for some doggie quality time, which is wholly therapeutic.  If my apartment was bigger, I would have a dog or two or three. But I must settle for visits and pictures and Facebook posts.

 

Football has also started, so its time to root for the Dogs, the Rams, and #81.

 

______________________

 

As I have said before, this diagnosis, this journey, has connected me with so many.  Friends have shown unbelievable support.  Past friends have reconnected, and shared prayers and hope.  I have learned how breast cancer has affected many of the women in my life, and the lives of friends and families.  I am fortunate to hear the stories of survival and tributes to those lost.  Answering questions for some, but just being able to listen to others, has given me the opportunity to find perspective on how to continue to fight.

 

I was reminded by my cousin about my aunt and godmother, who was diagnosed with breast cancer, and lived for many years after surgery and treatment.  We were both too young to remember her being sick, but even if she was, I don't think she would have shown it.  My cousin reminded me that she was up and moving within a year, and was never one to cause worry for her loved ones.  He said I am like her in that way.

 

I spoke with another survivor who reminded me of "moving forward," despite cancer, as it continues to be a part of my life, for the rest of my life. As my treatment continues, I will carry my cancer with me in a fancy purse, because I only have fancy purses.... Anyone can choose to let cancer or any disease, or any struggle, defeat you.  It will kill you if you allow it.  Living with breast cancer, living with difficult treatment, and accepting its reality, is the path I am on.  There is no reason I cannot work, or travel, or enjoy life, as I did before.  Just make adjustments, cause we got stuff to do.

 

Love, Sosa

 

August 31, 2014

Hello Everyone! Hope your Labor Day weekend is filled with good weather and no traffic.  Its been warm in the Bay Area, and the breeze is welcome. Let's hope the heat in the Central Valley reminds certain parents of mine to leave the yardwork for when its cooler....

I am continuing to walk as much as possible.  My muscles are going to have trouble adjusting for a few months, and I am doing the best I can to stretch and be active.  According to my friends, I am still walking on a good pace.

This week, I was lucky to spend time with many of my friends. I saw my godson, and he will be taller than me soon.  I received cards, and a surprise care package from a college friend. There were dinners, and surprise meetings on the side of the road or parking lots. I ate some good food, including homemade chicken pot pies. And, I was able to see some doggies.

On Thursday, I went to the Giants game with another breast cancer survivor.  She is my age, and we went through chemotherapy around the same time.  We are both Gamer babes, and we enjoyed great seats and sunny weather.  Turns out there were quite a few friends at the game as well.

Thank you all for continuing to check in, play games, send pictures, or send messages.  I appreciate hearing how everyone is doing, and what's new in your world.  The picture on the blog says "Live."  Do something this week that reminds you to do so: Live.

Love, Sosa

P.S.
If any of you are BRCA1 or BRCA2, or know someone who is, there is an observational study being conducted by UCSF.  You are compensated, and it requires minimal participation (twice a year). The link has the contact information to call or email.
Here is the link: http://www.cancer.gov/clinicaltrials/search/view?cdrid=754972&version=HealthProfessional

August 24, 2014

Hello Friends,

 

Did you survive the earthquake? I jumped out of bed and stood in the doorway.  It was definitely a roller.  And if you want to know what's really going on, check Facebook for the news updates.

 

I am grateful for everyone's support as my chemotherapy has ended.  It has been one month since my last infusion.  What has happened since is my body's adjustment to the medicine leaving my body.  While I have more energy, I find I do not have as much strength.  During chemotherapy, I experienced extensive bone pain during the week after infusion.  Now, my muscles are incredibly sore most of the time, even after sleeping or sitting.  Which is odd, if you aren't running the ten miles like you feel you have.  What is good is that I am walking more often, which I enjoy.  I continue to practice yoga, which is a great way to stretch out and focus energy in one's body.

 

The poison that has been in my body will take months to leave.  In fact, the best sign is when my hair grows back.  That will happen in four to six months, and that is the most obvious sign that my body has recovered from the most "ironic" way to treat cancer.  The drugs had to destroy so much of my system, thus destroying the cancer. But, I choose to do what it takes to survive.

 

In fact, another survivor pointed out to me that each day after diagnosis, is a day of survivorship.  Accepting the diagnosis and the treatment options, whatever they may be, means making choices to survive.  Every day you choose to live and fight, is a day when you choose not to let cancer win.  Some people consider landmarks, like five or ten years of being cancer free, as a survivor.  Some people say if you survived treatment, such as chemo, then, you are a survivor.

 

I think anyone who continues to move forward is a survivor. Whether its through early detection or trusting in treatment, deciding to put faith in the medicine is a choice to survive.  Regardless of the severity of the treatment or the extent of the disease, if you choose to keep living, then you are a SURVIVOR.

 

Keep your spirit positive and keep appreciating what's good in life.  

 

Love, Sosa

 



August 17, 2014.....Another Week Down

Its another week without chemotherapy and my body continues to adjust.  Another week waiting to find out whats next in my treatment and for my mind has to adjust as well. When there is no news, the waiting can sometimes be the hardest part.  I don't have answers for myself, let alone for anyone else.

But,

You get through it.  When it may seem difficult, I take one day at a time.  Sometimes, one hour at a time.  Get up, walk, shower, eat.  Look at the cards or the messages from loved ones, and refocus.  Keep moving forward.

Because,

The laundry still needs to be done.  There will always be traffic on 580 in Livermore. And I will still have cancer tomorrow. 

Do what you can until you cannot.  Continue to hope, be strong, and have faith, in the medicine and yourself.

____________________

This week, I spent time with a woman who opted for surgery, instead of treatment, based on her medical history.  I was impressed by her pride and courage.  I also met with a support group of breast cancer survivors.  They offered another perspective on living life in wellness after treatment.  Meeting with other women and listening to their stories is very helpful.  While treatment plans and medicines can be similar, every woman's diagnosis and history is unique.  These perspectives provide valuable education for the newly diagnosed about what to expect, and various ways to handle emotions, side effects, and stress.  I think its important for patients and survivors to find support in others, especially in a group or individual counseling. 

____________________

Thank you to everyone who continues to read this blog and post comments, or send emails or messages.  I have been very lucky to continue to reach out to others, as they have reached out to me with love and support. 

I always appreciate distractions, especially those that remind me of what my life used to be. I appreciate good news, like engagements, and wedding dresses, and new kitchens. And baseball, and little league, and finally, football.  Its nice not to think about cancer all the time, no matter how bald you are.

Have a good week,
Sosa

August 10, 2014

 

Isn't that the truth?

 

The image above was sent to me from a friend who survived breast cancer, and I forwarded it to a friend with lymphoma.

 

These last few months have gone by quickly, even though some of the days are long. I was diagnosed at the end of February and its already August. I have had some very long days, and longer nights.  Its all part of the war, and like war, it is exhausting and ongoing, and there are losses to bear.

 

A year ago, I was working, and going to baseball games, and spending time with friends.  Now, I have cancer. I'm bald and on leave from work. I have tried to stay active, and my friends have helped me remember what I enjoy most, and showed how much support is around me. 

 

A friend asked me this week if I thought these months were going to be as hard as it has been.  I did not expect to get through chemo as well as I did. I say "as well," mainly because I did not get as sick as most patients do. As a nurse's daughter, I prepared and medicated as needed.  Listening to my body and consulting with my nurses and doctors helped with the side effects. I attended a support group weekly and learned perspective. As difficult as chemo can be for anyone, there will be harder battles to face.  They will be physical and emotional, and I will prepare for whatever the treatment may be.  I do not have any news now, and decisions are yet to be made.  Remember, each patient is different, and my situation is different from someone else.

 

Since I was diagnosed, I have been public about how this journey has affected me and also how many people have approached me.  It is important to acknowledge those who have never known anyone with cancer.  I commend those who have asked questions to understand what is happening to me, but also to understand what could happen to them or their loved ones.

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Breast cancer does not discriminate.  It touches lives of so many.  In the past month, I learned of more friends and parents who have been recently diagnosed. Some have minor surgery and some have mastectomies and chemo in their future. In our lifetime, one in eight women will be diagnosed with some degree of breast cancer.  The treatments and medicines are much better than twenty, ten, or even one year ago.  As long as women are reaching out to doctors for early detection then treatment, recovery, and remission are easier than it used to be.  It is still hard to learn, and even harder to accept.  But there is support and there is hope. 

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Love, Sosa