June 28, 2015

Plumeria is an island flower.  I will think of Hawaii and Marie whenever I see it.  Last week, my community lost a friend to this disease.  She fought hard through a very difficult and lengthy treatment.  She has a great family and many who loved her smile.  We will miss you, Marie.

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This week, I introduced another friend to my blog.  While he isn't diagnosed, he knows people who are.  I try to communicate resources to others, because that's the necessary information to prepare oneself for the road ahead.

I was fortunate enough to sit down with another young person this week.  She is diagnosed with cancer a few months ago and in the first cycles of chemotherapy.  We discussed resources like the American Cancer Society and the Cancer Support Community.  We talked about the "new normal," and how facing the disease means adjusting to its rules.  We talked about communicating with loved ones and being selfish. 

That part will always be difficult for some people, but necessary to power through the tough days.  We talked about being emotional, but only briefly each day.  Giving time to grieve is important to understanding the long road ahead.  But it does not help to be sad all the time.  It is important to allow time to process emotions, like anger and sadness. Everyone has right to their feelings and opinions.  Then let it go.

Being able to talk with another young person about cancer is a very special experience.  When I first walked into support groups, there were very few people my age. I met a few people as the months went on, and I am glad to keep in touch.  Being diagnosed before age 40 or 50, separates a generation of people who may still want to be married, or have children, or are still working full time.  In this lifetime, there are more people who are choosing to start their lives after age 30.  Its bittersweet to think about young people who were saving those decisions for later, are now faced with a shorter time, hindered with treatments, and an unknown future.

I don't know how long I have.  But neither does anyone else.  The rest of my journey will be harder, this is true.  But it does not mean I don't want to reach my personal goals. I still want to move out of my apartment, and travel, and have some dogs, and fall in love.  I tell myself, and others, every day, that I am living with cancer.  "With" is the key word.

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Love, Sosa