April 20, 2017

Hello all,

It has been a few months since I last checked in, so I am taking this opportunity to update my community on both good and bad news.  Thank you again for checking in and asking how I am doing.  I always appreciate any emails, texts, or phone calls, as well as visits and lunches.

The past few months were filled with travel and exercise. As part of the clinical trial, I worked hard to maintain a very high protein diet, and encouraged to remain very active. I struggled with the clinical trial mostly because of low blood counts.  I had a few more blood transfusions in order to continue to receive the medicine.

Finally, a few weeks ago, the trial dropped me.  My cancer had continued to grow, despite efforts to remain on the medicine.  And, last week, a CT scan revealed a new large tumor mass growing in my upper chest.  It is not in any organs, and is outside the rib cage. 

Remember, this is the devastating nature of cancer and metastatic disease.  My cancer will never be in remission, and I will always have active disease. For the past 8 months, I have participated in a clinical trial which has reduced my cancer and provided my a very good quality of life.  With every different approach, my cancer has reduced for awhile, then kicked back in to gear. This time, it only took about a month for the cancer to finally outsmart the clinical trial medicine.  Once it did, the new tumor began to grow.  And because of my ongoing lymphedema, the swelling in my arms, chest and back, has become very uncomfortable.  I still don't have as much range in motion, but that is nothing new.

So, this means more chemotherapy.  It has to be aggressive new treatment, which is a different type of chemo.  By attacking the disease with another type of chemotherapy, I hope to outsmart it for a longer period of time.  Every time I change medicines, I am working to outsmart the cancer which is working hard to kill me.  Like, working really hard.  

As soon as this chemo works, I hope to improve my quality of life.  I have been suffering with pain, swelling, lack of appetite, nausea, sleeplessness, and exhaustion.  I am looking forward to returning to work and playing softball.  When this medicine works, then I can function normally.  This chemo has some side effects, but not like the first chemo.  No hair loss, or neuropathy.  These are signs of how medicine continues to develop and improve the patient's quality of life.  

I am writing this from the hospital, where I have already received my new chemo, called Doxil, and have finished 1 of 2 units of blood.  I should feel better by tomorrow, and hopefully my tumors will start shrinking right away.

These last few weeks have been more difficult, but I intend to return to a normal lifestyle.  I miss doing the things I enjoy, but that will come soon enough. 

Thank you again for the support. I am also here for others should you meet someone who would benefit from a conversation with me about cancer treatment.  I can also refer anyone to the FREE services at the Cancer Support Community where I still attend support group.

Last, it seems diagnosis and death have been more prevalent in the past few months.  I have had to grieve for more people lost to cancer.  And I have had to grieve for those newly diagnosed.  Maybe its because I am a survivor, but it has never been easy to understand how the disease behaves or selects who it does. Always keep those people in your prayers.

Love, Sosa